I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
