I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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