Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
