i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
