So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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