I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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