I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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