I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
