he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
