Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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