Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
