I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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