Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
