please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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