I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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