go do what you do best...puke behind churches
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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