and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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