that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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