honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
