a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
