I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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