Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
