I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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