she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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