So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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