dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
