Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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