just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
