Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
