I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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