i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So much Jack, so little girl.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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