Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
