I bet he comes in French.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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