Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
