i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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