she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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