Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
