bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
