my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone đ
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled âfive times and I still havenât gotten offâ when he was still inside me ..
Said âdonât worry Iâll get myself off tomorrowâ to top it all off
Heâs only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighborâs kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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