Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
