Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
