So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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