hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I stole a fireplace last night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
