But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
kristin has been a bad kristin
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
