At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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