took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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