3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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