ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
