No, you can still breathe under the balls.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
