Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Everclear isn't food dammit
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
