You smell like stripper and shame
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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