Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize