I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
