You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
