At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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