I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
