Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize