"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Someone shit on the floor
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
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