you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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