Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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