I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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