i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
