Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
