well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
