I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
